My Date with Jordana

So I had this date with Jordana. Well, not really, but in my head, we went out. Anyone who knows me, knows that I will open myself up to you the first time we meet. After the first 2 hours, you'll know basically everything there is to know about me. Also I am a total idiot around beautiful women so I can't function like normal (did I ever?). But I tend to babble a lot. Or ramble. And lately, I have just been an absolute motor mouth. But on a date, I would be really nervous about any lull in conversation, so I'm sure I would fill any gap of quite that came around, perhaps with even sentences that didn't make much sense to the person listening to what I was saying. Realizing I have just said something stupid, I immediately try to recover by saying something else. If I'm lucky, it will make sense. So here is how my date went.

We went to a really fine dining establishment and she was so beautiful with those dark brown eyes and the perfect face and mouth. It was very hard for me to concentrate. She ordered some kind of fancy water I had never heard of and I ordered a coke cause I'm just country like that.







She appeared to be interested in the things I had to say as she seemed to be listening intently and hanging on my every word. This was going to good.











The date was going pretty well, but then I started rambling about stupid stuff that had happened to me. I was trying to be funny, but I got just the exact opposite reaction; probably something to do with timing.

I could see this date was taking a turn for the worse, so I quickly changed the subject and went into my love for animals.  

Then I just kept talking like a tornado passing through Texas.




























































Despite the poor timing on my part to emit embarrassing moments into the conversation, she was intrigued after I mentioned whip cream, cooter, and me. She had never had so many emotions on one date before that she was rather captivated by my randomness of thought. We went back to her place for a nightcap.







We had several drinks and then one thing led to another. She was rather playful at first.







Then she just became a real tiger begging me to take her.























That was all it took for her to fall truly, madly, deeply in love with me. She overcame my randomness and stupid outburst of rudimentary comments. She had become a Tina Tomaholic and had to have her daily fix of me. So there was only one more thing we could do......








Disclaimer:
The photos used were clips from DEBS and 2 from the Invisible Circus. Jordana was not harmed nor molested during the writing of this blog. The story you have just read is not true and no names were changed for there was no one innocent to protect. My sincere apologies to Jordana if this made you puke.